


wind beneath my wings

by naturegirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean Worrying, Depression, F/M, Fluff, lowkey suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 03:26:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18241418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naturegirl/pseuds/naturegirl
Summary: reader has a rough time after a few rough hunts, she withdraws from the boys and dean worries a whole lot





	wind beneath my wings

**Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.  
It must have been cold there in my shadow,  
to never have sunlight on your face.  
You were content to let me shine, that’s your way.  
You always walked a step behind.**

Deans POV 

We had just gotten to our motel after a long drive coming off of from a few rough back to back hunts, Y/N followed me through our motel room door silently just to immediately make a beeline for one of the beds. For the whole drive, she had sat in the back seat of Baby with her headphones in just staring out the window. I knew what was going through her head. She was blaming herself.

**So I was the one with all the glory,  
while you were the one with all the strength.  
A beautiful face without a name for so long.  
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.**

On the last hunt, we had lost a couple of civilians, Y/N blamed herself for it. I honestly don’t know why, she was amazing. I don’t know how she did it, she was our rock-I don’t know about Sam but she has put me back together more times than I can count. But on hunts she was always perfect; so, this time she got taken out by a surprise attack, happens to the best of us, but she puts it all on her shoulders. I turned to check on her and make sure she was ok but she had already fallen asleep. Her tiny body was curled up into a ball on top of the blankets with her earbuds still in her ears, she hadn’t even changed into her pajamas or taken off her glasses. I shifted her so she was under at least one of the covers and put her glasses on the nightstand. 

A few hours later Sam and I decided to go to a bar and see if anything weird had happened in the Podunk town we were in. I crouched next to Y/N’s bed to see if she wanted to go with us but she just burrowed her face into the pillow and shook her head before falling asleep again.

**Did you ever know that you’re my hero,  
and everything I would like to be?  
I can fly higher than an eagle,  
‘cause you are the wind beneath my wings.**

She had worked herself ragged going nonstop on those hunts. She was always there with the research we needed or an extra gun. I didn’t press the bar that night cause I thought she deserved to have a night off. But it worries me, she hadn’t been herself for a while now. She used to come out with us and always be laughing, of course even then she had her bad days. But something feels different now. the light has gone out of her eyes a little, not entirely but enough to notice. Ever since that hunt and that night in the motel where she slept like a rock for 18 hours, it makes me worry. 

Every time we found a new hunt or took a night to relax at a bar, she always says she wants to do research or crash early, she’s been sleeping more than usual during the day but at night she can’t sleep. I’ll find her tossing and turning or just staring at the ceiling, I know that her mental health is an ongoing struggle and I think lately it’s been more so than normal. 

**It might have appeared to go unnoticed,  
but I’ve got it all here in my heart.  
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.  
I would be nothing without you.**

It breaks my heart that she puts all of this on herself and it breaks my heart, even more, to know that i can’t fix it, this is her battle to fight. I can support her in it; just as she has always supported me in mine, she has always been there for me and held me up when i thought i couldn’t go on anymore, and now i am going to do the same for her. whatever she needs from me I will do. 

On my worst days, she has been a pillar of hope and its what makes me love her. not that she knows, but i don’t want to put the stress of dealing with my feelings on her. i just want to do for her what she has done for me. and so I’m not going to give up.

Months after that hunt she finally agreed to come with us on a vamp case, we thought it would just be a simple case but it turned out to be a nest. the three of us went in, machetes swinging, and fought our way through. at one point she got separated from us and had a shit ton of vamps on her. i watched her fight and fight and then she waivered, i watched her give up, i watched the love of my life stop fighting her battles. i couldn’t get to her before they did but i slashed my way through the vamps by me as fast as i could. 

When i finally got to her, i killed the remaining ones and had Sam call an ambulance because she was unconscious. i rode in the back of the ambulance with her on the way to the closest ER, the paramedics said she had some sort of brain injury but they couldn’t be sure until the brain doctor looked at the scans.  as soon as we got there she got admitted and the doctors took her away and wouldn’t let me follow. Sam and I found the waiting room and camped out until the doctors came out. i had been barely holding it together but i lost it when they said she was in a coma. They said she would probably wake up but the longer she was out the less likely it would be. that night i made camp next to her hospital bed, i brought the blanket that her friends made her, it always made her feel better, when she was down she wrapped herself up in it and called it a 'hug from her friends’. 

**“Did you ever know that you’re my hero?  
You’re everything I wish I could be.  
I could fly higher than an eagle,  
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.  
  
Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?  
You’re everything, everything I wish I could be.  
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,  
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings,  
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.  
  
Oh, the wind beneath my wings.  
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.  
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.  
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.  
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings……”**

Readers POV

**“….Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,  
so high I almost touch the sky.  
Thank you, thank you,  
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.”**

his voice slowly came into clarity, but i was still really out of it and couldn’t open my eyes or move yet and i drifted off again before i had mustered the strength to tell him i heard his song. that is the song he sings to me after Sam crashes when he thinks I’m asleep or what i sing to him when he has had a rough time. I think of it as out song, not that i would ever tell him that. there’s a lot that i haven’t told him, but those things are my problem, not his.

“oh, baby I’m so sorry. i shouldn’t have pushed you to hunt before you were ready, when we knew it was a dig case i should have asked…i should have let you sit out. I’m so sorry. i love you so much and i need you to wake up…just please wake up for me, Y/N…”

i felt his head fall onto my stomach as he finished his little speech. we laid in silence like that for a while until i could tell him what my body had been screaming since i heard that song.

“you love me?” i whispered, the words coming out more like a croak than i meant it to be. he lifted his head with a sad look in his eyes, his mouth was slightly open, his tongue poking through his lips, and freckles stained with tears.

“you’re awake?” he collapses back on top of me, his head in the crook of my neck, crushing me in a giant bear hug, i could feel him start crying against my neck.

“you love me?” i repeated, stunned.

“do we have to talk about that right now, shouldn’t i be getting a doctor or something?” still talking quietly he sat on the edge of my bed, holding my hands and fiddling with my fingers, tears flowing freely now.

i brought my free hand up to his cheek and wiped away the tears with my thumb, he closed his eyes and leaned into my palm. i squeezed his hand with mine and pulled his face down to mine, not quite kissing him yet just enjoying his face being close, something I’ve wanted for so long.

“i love you too,” i said against his lips, barely audible. as soon as i uttered those words he closed the distance, pushing his plush lips against my cracked ones. 

 


End file.
